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You are here: Home / Blog / Therapist, Not Magician

Therapist, Not Magician

July 7, 2016 By Drea Purdy, LMFT

In consideration of how to introduce myself as the most recent addition to the wonderful Newtown Family Therapy group, I would like to begin by saying that I wish we could all live in a sorrow free world with the only and ultimate superpower being love. I wish I had a magic wand that could eliminate all things born from the opposite.

However, because I (and you) live in the actual world, I believe I must be responsible for my own happiness as well as find a way to deal with my own pain. It would be lovely if all of those positive quotes on Facebook could provide enough permanent motivation for a complete perspective shift on those occasions when that is called for, but sometimes we need something more in the way of help if and when our suffering becomes too great and whatever we have been doing until now isn’t working anymore.

Or when loss flips our lives upside down and we can’t organize our minds in a way that makes the intolerable tolerable. When our relationships still aren’t working because other people refuse to do exactly what we think they need to do. When our frustration at something seemingly small is completely disproportionate to the actual event due to some unexpressed (until then) sadness about nothing in particular we can pinpoint, or maybe just a whole bunch of things combined. Perhaps those things have gotten compounded by society/parents/friends trying to “fix” by talking you out of having your real feelings all along.

While I do not possess the wand, I do believe there is some magic involved in a really good therapeutic relationship. I have seen this foundation lead to much healing. To less suffering, to changed attitudes and more acceptance. When we find healthier ways of expressing our feelings about so many things we have no control over, depression and anxiety have less power.

I know of no simple solution to our struggles, but I believe that it is in the work we do together that we find possibilities.

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